I haven’t written much lately — not that it means I don’t have much to say, but life has really been flying by. I’ve become part of a new set of friends that has turned my life into a whirlwind. There have been lots of networking events. I feel like I’m on the path I’m meant to be on, even if I’m not there yet. (I guess when you get there, it’s probably time to start considering nursing home options.)
I’m also scared to write this — as feeling this way in the past has meant failure lurks just around the corner — but I’ve seemed to straighten out a lot of my worst eating habits. I’ve lost 9 pounds since the start of the year, which is nice, but even nicer is the elimination of some of the craziness in my head. If I want a bite of something, I have it, but I also know that if I have too much, it will trigger cravings and make me feel awful. So I don’t. It’s never been that simple before — I just want to keep feeling good and not bad, so I don’t eat crap.
I’ve actively taken steps to end the relationship with D that wasn’t working for me. I know in my heart of hearts that we’re not ultimately meant to be together, but it’s been difficult because we do have so much fun when we’re together. I’m headed to Japan next week, and when I’m back, we’re done. I just need that space to figure out where I’m headed, and I wasn’t getting that. (News flash: that resolve didn’t last long — he’s coming over tonight.)
I had someone very intriguing show some interest last night. It came from a totally unexpected quarter, and probably had more to do with our respective states of inebriation than anything else, but it still was a lot of fun to think about. Ultimately, it was not wise to go there, and I’m glad that I didn’t pursue things further, but I’m on the road to getting where I want to go if I’m putting myself out there in a way that generates interest, rather than hiding behind my weight and low self-esteem.
Still continued on the journey, and it’s a fun ride!
