I come from the kind of family that doesn’t make a big deal about birthdays, unlike the families where you get to be a princess for a day. But my next birthday is going to be more of a big deal than I’ve had in several years: actually, in 7 years, since I was married on my birthday in 2001. This year, I won’t also be celebrating my anniversary (although I use the word “celebrate” loosely anyway, since I was separated for over two years before finalizing my divorce this past December.) It’s also not a decade milestone this time around. So why the big deal? I will be celebrating what my life has become in the last couple of years.
I moved to the Washington, DC area fleeing what my life had become in Kansas City. My marriage was over, my house was soon to be sold, and the good friend who was my boss at the time had resigned. I knew my life had to change dramatically — there just wasn’t enough left to fix. With the help of friends and family, I was able to stay on my feet (if only just barely) and start trying to figure out what would come next. Along the way, the job I had fell apart when my organization lost its funding. And a new relationship didn’t work out, despite our best efforts.
It took me some time to find my community, my network. When I lived in San Francisco, I knew everyone in my professional circle and had many close friends. But first living in Kansas City, and then working at home for a small organization that wasn’t very visible or well-known made it hard to meet people even after I moved here. And being in a relationship meant I wasn’t spending much time making friends. With the collapse of my position, I was forced to find a new job, and it’s with a much more prominent organization, with hundreds of employees in my building. I’ve made some friends in the progressive world, which is where I started looking, and in the nonprofit world as well.
But I’ve also found a new circle of friends in the tech community. I’m not really a tech person, although my work as a blogger and web content creator for an award-winning website gives me a little bit of a tech background. Here’s how my evolution over the past year has progressed:
First, I read The Four-Hour Workweek, which inspired me to become more entrepreneurial. Then, I decided to build a website, Pandapoly, to honor my passion for giant pandas. After doing that, I attended Joomla! Day in New York City, which led to my attending more tech events in the DC area, with the goal of making my website even stronger. I made major strides forward when attending DC’s Startup Weekend, where I met dozens of amazing people, several of whom have become friends since that time. After that, I felt at home attending events like the Social Media Club, MashMeets, and RefreshDC, where I saw my new friends and continued to make even more friends.
My technological advancement was not limited to what I learned at the events I attended. I also started using Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn to communicate more regularly with friends and new acquaintances. I continued to learn on a daily basis what my friends were reading and thinking, and began to share more of myself, as well. Instead of feeling like a failure as a result of my failed marriage and failed job, I was able to share my successes with others, and start to help other people instead of just networking to advance my own interests. I was even able to make an introduction that led to a friend landing a very lucrative and high-profile job.
I’m thrilled I was able to plan my birthday party — using Facebook — and already have over 25 people who are planning to attend (and nearly 20 who might attend). (It’s not as many as my wedding, but then again, there aren’t all those extraneous in-laws and family friends I had to invite — it’s my family of choice.) I’m headed to a restaurant that I like and going dancing at a club I really enjoy. Regardless of what actually happens during the celebration, it already looks very different than any birthday I’ve had before. And that’s something to celebrate!
[Note: 1. If you're reading this and in the DC area, you're invited to the birthday celebration -- just RSVP here. 2. This post was inspired by Micah's April Fool's post -- it's not nearly as poignant, but I think it's coming from the same place.]
